Faith - GREY MATTER

GREY MATTER

because life is rarely black or white …

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This is a part of the site that has been in great need of an update. I could write about my journey with Christ for an eternity, eternity of course being an apt word when one decides to take that walk. Much of what I have written on this subject can be found here. Faith is a wonderful thing, and although I may be training to preach, I have no intention to preach …

Am I talking ‘Double Dutch’ again? I promise not. By that, I mean that it is not my intention to criticise others for their beliefs, and to say that my way is the only way. It is one that I would recommend, but as with anything in life it is an open choice. What I have learnt is that there is a seat at God’s Table for everyone, but only we can decide whether we wish to take it.

My life was in turmoil when God called me into his arms. Through my youth, I had been a churchgoer, but went AWOL for several years, a time during which I suffered with clinical depression over a long period, one during which any faith I had was found at the bottle of a glass or the end of a fist. If only I’d had the clarity of mind to seek God during those years, it may have been very different.

Even in the months after the death of my fiancée, I drifted into a lonely reclusive place, privately questioning everything that had happened. Over these last years, God has answered, and continues to answer every question. I have been challenged, and hope that this will continue to be the case.

I realise that all of the challenges that I have faced have been a gift of sorts, one that has prepared me for the journeys on which I wish to embark upon through the remainder of my life on earth. It has given me a deep strength of character to deal with whatever life throws at me. It has given me an openness to fully see and appreciate the gifts with which we are presented every day. It has taught me never to take a moment for granted, but also never to lose hope, because God’s works are truly great.

I am not one to sit and recount miracles! Life is one in itself, and very quietly in life, just as the Gospels foretold so many years ago, God answers my prayers. He will answer yours too. So many people tell me, “I want to pray, but I haven’t for 20 years”. I refer them to the Parable of the Lost Sheep:

“I tell you that even so there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over ninety-nine righteous people who need no repentance.” ~ Luke 15:7

Speak to Him, he will always listen. Do not give up if you don’t see a divine miracle in a day, however, speak regularly and understand that He knows what you want long before you do. But prayers are not about what we ‘want’, it is about what God knows that we need, not materially but spiritually. I prepared some information about praying for a work-group recently, and would be happy to share it with any of you – just email me.

I am about to embark upon a degree in Applied Theology. I have no idea where it will take me, but I cannot wait! Ordained Ministry is an option, but I would never be so presumptuous as to think that I am worthy of such. However, there are so many other areas of Mission and Ministry in which I could be involved, and I will enjoy every moment discerning His will for me.

For now, I take great joy in being actively involved with a wonderful community at St Martin’s in the Bullring, where I am a member of the Parish Council and privileged to have been supported in all that I have done by the wonderful clergy team.

Nothing holds any fear for me now. Like everyone else, I have moments where I grapple with life, but reflection and prayer are very wonderful things. Reflection feeds the soul and prayer manifests itself in the mental strength to cope with life’s challenges until God presents the answer.

Be Blessed, and never be afraid to walk back into the arms of God, for he will always be waiting.